I decided yesterday morning to be on the lookout for someone to help, as many needy someones as I could cram into a day. I decided that on the longest day of the year I would do all I could to shine God’s light into the lives of others. Chase daylight.
But then I went into Target, crossed seven items off a list and hopped back into the car, beaming because I’d purchased a perfect new lipliner and because my girls hadn’t broken anything. Totally forgot about the helping-others-goal I’d set only twenty minutes earlier.
I remembered tonight and was sad Satan had derailed me so easily.
My life is becoming very Jennifer, London and Eve centric. Which is natural and easy when you’re a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I go three days without a single meaningful interaction with someone other than a member of my immediate family. I spend my days keeping my daughters happy and that keeps me happy.
And when I put it like that, “keeping my daughters happy,” I realize how small a life that is.
I need to teach my daughters to find happiness outside themselves. Which means less time eating popsicles, picking out eyeshadow, and riding trains and more time visiting nursing homes, picking up trash at the playground, and drawing pictures for the sick.
It means engineering service, working it into the rhythm of our days, making selflessness more natural than greed.